The Mind of an Eating Disordered Person

This video is very personal to me... It expresses some of the things that I have inside me that are very hard to discuss with people. The way I think about things is very complex, but I hope that this video will explain a little bit about it. If any. Having an eating disorder has taken everything from me... It has taken my health (I've been hospitalized, had a tube shoved down my nose, hooked up to an IV for nutrients, my hair has fallen out and thinned, my nails lost color and became brittle, I've thrown up blood, my teeth are soft, my glands are swollen, I'm perpetually cold, my hands and feet turn purpley-red and ice cold, I bruise easily (you can see that in the video), I get sick easily, my liver became unhealthy, I got gallstones, I have migraines, my bones are brittle, my muscles cramp easily, my metabolism is crap, I get chronic nosebleeds and bleed easily, I have anemia, I'm prone to fainting spells) and those are only a few of the things ED has given me. It has taken the Confidence away from my family and friends who used to have for me, and I lost a lot of people from the disease. They took my freedom, I lock myself in my room and rare. I'm too scared to go, fear of food and how you see me ... It 'been my happiness, I'm not happy ... emergency room because I do not remember the last time I was happy. Things that normally make people happy makes me cry too, because I tortured. I do not think I deserve...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nfu2dIgEy9M&hl=en